The 10 Commandments of Dating is a practical Christian advice book by Ben Young and Samuel Adams. It is organized around ten relationship “commandments”—presented as hard-hitting, black-and-white guidelines for single readers who want to avoid pouring time and energy into relationships that end in heartache. The book treats dating as a sphere in which clear principles and habits can protect people from common pitfalls, help them keep a clear head while searching for a partner, and lead them toward wiser decisions and healthier relationships with the opposite sex. Its framework is explicitly Christian, and its subject matter is dating as a social practice informed by religious convictions about interpersonal relations and sexual ethics. The tone is direct and no-nonsense rather than narrative: the book offers advice and relationship laws, not a plot, characters, or a chronological account of the authors’ lives.
The book’s deeper emphasis falls on character and discernment rather than on romance as a feeling. Its commandments are designed to function as pre-relationship and in-relationship checks: Am I ready? Is this person spiritually compatible? Are we honest about our intentions? Are physical boundaries clear? Are we isolated from wise counsel? The advice treats attraction and loneliness as powerful forces that can cloud judgment, so it repeatedly pushes readers toward self-control, accountability, and outside perspective from friends, mentors, and the Christian community. It also warns against dating someone as a “project” or out of a desire to rescue or be rescued, and it stresses healing from past relationships before entering a new one.
Singleness is treated as a legitimate season for growth, service, and preparation, not merely as a waiting room for marriage. The commandments therefore aim at forming the kind of person who can sustain a healthy relationship, not just at finding a partner. The book’s significance within Christian relationship literature is its translation of conservative convictions about purity, compatibility, and intentionality into blunt, memorable rules of thumb. It does not reject dating wholesale; it tries to redeem dating by replacing naive romanticism with disciplined discernment, clear communication, and realistic expectations. The “commandment” form gives the material an authoritative and easy-to-recall shape, while the practical tone keeps it accessible to ordinary single readers.
